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Tariffs on Scotch Whiskey in the Interest of National Security

Tariffs on Scotch Whiskey in the Interest of National Security

| October 04, 2019

(please enjoy some humor on this Friday afternoon)

The Trump White House has announced it will release a new slate of tariffs that will take effect Oct. 18th, 2019. Among the new tariffs:

                -25% duties on single-malt Scotch whiskies and Irish whiskies

                -25% Tariffs on coffee from Germany

                -25% duties on various cheeses, olive oil and frozen meant from Germany, Spain and the U.K [1]


I’m sure we’re all thinking the same thing…Trump would never abuse his power under the International Emergency Economic Powers Act, which gives him the ability to circumvent Congress and place tariffs on goods in the interest of national security. I mean, I’m certain he would never want the checks and balances of government to be abused, and you’ve got to be a crazy person to think that scotch whiskey and cheese ISN’T a threat to national security. How do you think Swiss cheese got all those holes in it? I’ll tell you how, bullets…

Truth be told, I believe this is a brilliant tactic by Trump to cut down on American obesity. Scotch and cheese account for 85% of the reason I have a “dad-bod”. With the prices going up, I may not be able to afford those things and I’ll likely regain my adolescent physique. A healthier America is a stronger America.

Thank you President Trump for your great leadership on this issue and God Bless America.